A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear eight year old me...

IT'S OKAY! Everything is going to be okay, I promise you. Stop worrying about the little things, and look ahead to the big things. The things you are worried about now will not matter years from now. It is all going to be worth it at the end. So stop worrying, and just enjoy everything around you.

Never stop being motivated, that is something that you have always been good at. You are going to have challenges, defeats, heartbreak, and feel like you have let yourself down. But use those feelings to motivate you and pick you up and strive to be get better.

Don't push people away open up to people, and make friends. Things happen and you say your goodbyes and your going to have to leave everything behind, but don't shut people out. Make a friend, go out like you are now, and enjoy every second of it. Before you know it these will all be memories one day so enjoy it while it lasts.

Stepping away from something is perfectly okay, go try new things. I guarantee you will not regret any of it. You may be unsure of your decisions but just go for it, and be yourself. Don't let other people's judgment of you determine the decisions you make.

Finally, do whatever makes you happy and go with it. If you are worried things don't work out just do it, especially if it makes you happy. Everything happens for a reason so don't force things to happen let it happen.

Love always, 
Eighteen year old me

Trying Something New

Today in outdoor education class we went rock climbing. I've never done an activity like this before, and the way I saw the instructor do it, it looked so easy. To be honest I was terrified to climb all the way up there. At first I thought I was going at a regular pace but as I saw my classmates struggle to stay on and find a place to stand I noticed I wasn't. My classmate said I made it look easy. As I kept doing it I looked down I got even more scared, so I just kept going so I could just be done, and then I made it to the top, and it wasn't all that bad. Then second time I was on a different area it was a bit harder but I started to enjoy it and really fun. But I'm not the kind of person that does sports, or exercise. I'm the kind of person that likes being on a stage or at home writing, and this was the exact opposite. I think this was a good experience and  helped me step out of my comfort zone, and who knew I was pretty good at rock climbing. Anyways.. don't be afraid to try new things. You might be bad at first or maybe you will be really good. But you never know till you try!

Poetry Slam

Yesterday night my school had a poetry slam, and this is the first one I have ever gone to one. The amount of expression that came out of people's mouth was indescribable. Some people it was their first time up there, and they read something so personal to a bunch of strangers. That to me is stepping out of the box and as I like to say living louder. Their words were ineffable and so beautiful the amount of talent in that place was too much.  These people have walked down the same halls, sat in the same classrooms, talked to the same people, and at that very moment we were all united by words. At that moment I felt a connection was made with each and everyone that was there. We all laughed together, we all sympathized together, we were all sad together, and most importantly we all had fun together. This was a way to get people to let out their feelings onto paper and into poetry and I felt like each of them gave inspiration to everyone in the audience. Everyone who listened learned something from this slam, and what I learned is that you aren't alone people will always be there to listen, learn and help you with whatever you are going through. This poetry slam really gave me inspiration and I hope one day you will take time to write a poem, attended a poetry slam, or even preform you will not regret it.

My Favorite Songs Of 2014

I love listening to music, and I am always open to different types of music. I decided to make a list of my favorites song of 2014. These songs I listened to during the year that I enjoyed and I hope so will you. These song are in no particular order I love them all!

My favorite songs of 2014 were...

1. Pentatonix- this is an a cappella group I am very fond of. There are have so many good songs: Say Something cover, Christmas to me, White Winter Hymnal, Mary, did you know, On my way home, Wizard of Ahh's, Radioactive cover, and so many more. I just didn't have one favorite I love all their songs.

2. Wrecking Balls by Christina Grimmie- This song was preformed on The Voice by Christina Grimmie. She had so much passion in the performance it gave me goosebumps. Before she was on The Voice she did YouTube videos and think she has an unique voice.

3. Joey - Doing It Wrong/Princess of China Mashup (feat. Jessi Smiles)- This song is a mash up of Doing it wrong by Drake and Princess of china by Coldplay. Joey and Jessi mashed it up together to make a beautiful slow song. There voices go so well together, and it became one of my favorite songs.

4. Let It Go - Frozen - Alex Boyé (Africanized Tribal Cover) Ft. One Voice Children's Choir- Everyone knows the movie Frozen and the song let it go. This is a cover with an Africanized twist to it. The music video as well does the song justice it is so beautiful as well as the voices that sang in it. It is very different than the original song and very catchy.

5. "Just A Dream" by Nelly - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie- This song is a cover and a duet by Sam Tsui and Christina Grimmie. This song is a perfect duet and the added piano parts make it perfect.

6. "Who You Are" - Jessie J - Anna Clendening Cover - This song is  a cover to Who You Are by  the Vine star Anna Clendening who was on Americas got talent as well.

7. Get Bright By Fellowship Creative & The Mix- This song has such a good message, and so fun to dance to. The voices are beautiful and the music video is just incredible. One of my favorites!

8. Story Of My Life (ft. Macy Kate, Tyler Ward and Kurt)- Everyone knows one direction, these three artist do a perfect cover to the One Direction song Story of my Life.

9. All I Want- Kodaline (Cover by Tiffany Stringer)- This artist is an up and coming artist, she was recently on American Idol and from Texas. This cover is one of my favorite songs of hers, and she has so much emotion into every word she sings. She is worth listening to!

10. Nick Jonas - Jealous (Gospel Version)- As much I love the regular Jealous, I am in love with the gospel version, there is so much soul in this song I love it. Nick hits a note in this song that he doesn't in the original and it really shows what he can do. I am in love!

These are some of my favorites songs of 2014 and I hope you take time to listen to them.

To Be or Not To Be Parody Soliloquy

As a senior in high school we had to read about Hamlet. Our teacher made us write our own version to his soliloquy for "To be or not to be". When I wrote this poem I wanted to express the feelings of someone who is going though anxiety.

To Be Anxious or Not Be Anxious

By mz

To be anxious or not to be anxious- that is the question:

Whether' tis easier to be at peace

And let confidence fill these thoughts

Or have your body shake and heart race

And by nervousness, never enjoy each day.

To doubt, to listen to the voices in my mind-

No more- and by worrying I face

The constant reminder of the voice in my head

That I hear each day-

Tis' an illness

That is hard to face.

To be anxious, to be at peace-

To be at peace perhaps like a dream. Ay, there's the problem

For along the way what might we lose

When we make the anxiousness overpower you

Must this be a never ending fight

That's the thought

That makes me tremble in fear

For who wants this anxiousness fear

The tossing and turning all night

The fear of knocking on that door

The fear of asking for a napkin alone

The uneasiness that builds up inside

The second guessing yourself each time

And the mask you put up

To hide what you are trying to deal with inside

When the anxiousness builds up inside

When will you know when it will stop?

Who would handle our obsessive thoughts,

To fear and worry about the little things,

But hardest part is missing out on the things that everyone does

While we stand unable to express ourselves

Wishing we could be at ease like everyone else

Is it worth all that anxiousness

Or are we too afraid of finding peace within ourselves?

Thus missing out on all the fun things we did not say or do

And thus regret fills our insides and devours the joy

Is that what society has turned to

And the chatter that people say about stress getting in the way

With all this anxiety that holds us hostage in our heads 

And we can either choose to let it be or let it break free.

I hope you enjoyed my own version of Hamlet's soliloquy, I had to preform it in front of my class. I was nervous at first I even started shaking and I read it fast until I realized what I was reading and towards the end I was able to calm myself down. I wasn't going to let being nervous take over what I was trying to express. I hope this has helped anyone with anxiety, you are not alone its time to let you anxiety break free.



Decisions

Everyone makes decisions from trying to find out what outfit to wear today or deciding to stop smoking. Sometimes I wonder how society makes us pick what we want to do for the rest of our lives by the time we are seventeen or eighteen. These decisions effect a person's life dramatically, yet we are always unsure that very moment what we choose. You determine every single decision you make even if it's a bad one or a good one. 

Have you ever wondered how your life would be different if you made that decision? Yes, you know exactly what decision I am talking about.

Think about it.... How would it be different? Would it have been better? Would it have been worse? Is there anything you could have done to change the outcome?

Many people have made a decision that changed their life forever. Decisions are what help us grow as a person. If you didn't make mistakes what kind of world would we be living in. Making mistakes is what makes us human. 

What YouTubers Have Taught Me

YouTube is a video sharing websites where people can post videos of almost everything. Over one billion people visit YouTube everyday.

When I started watching YouTube I thought it was just funny videos, music videos and tutorials. But as I looked further into this website I found people interacting with viewers as their friends. It feels like you are talking to a friend across the computer screen. Each youtuber has their own stories and experience that they like to tell the world through a camera.

Well theses are some of my favorite YouTubers and what they taught me....

1. Tyler Oakley has around six million subscribers and started his YouTube Channel in 2007 and is one of my favorite YouTubers. He connects to his viewers like no other and can make you smile no matter what. Tyler Oakley taught me that it is perfectly okay to be who you are, and not care what other people think of you "You do you, I do me" (Tyler Oakley).

2. Troye Sivan is a South African living in Australia. When he was little he was in movies, then in 2007 he made his YouTube Channel and has currently three million followers. Then recently he released an album called TRXYE. Troye taught me to face my fears head on, chase my dreams and how to be a better me "Life isn't about finding yourself, its about creating yourself" (Troye Sivan).

3. Zoe Sugg is a British youtuber who started her channel in 2007 and currently has six million views. She has her own beauty line and has recently come out with a book called Girl Online. She taught me that worrying should not control your life, remember all the good memories rather than the bad and to say yes to every wonderful opportunities that come my way.

Every youtuber tells a story that is relatable to everyone and makes them feel connected to them. These people have never meet me or even know I exist, yet somehow I feel this bond of friendship that is unbreakable.

High School Tips

High School has always been portrayed with scary teachers, bullies, and drama. Most of the things you hear about high school are not always true. By the time you reach high school most people have matured by then. But that doesn't mean everyone has.

I started off my freshman year at this school that I have been attending since I was in sixth grade. I had already meet a lot of people and dealt with the drama that came during my middle school years. But by the end of my freshman year I had to move, and start fresh. As much as it hurt to leave I did it and will be graduating from this school. I am currently going into my second semester of my senior year of high school.These are some of thing things I would tell myself if I could relive my high school experience. I hope this helps people going into high school this year or attending it now.

1. Be yourself- I know that sounds super cheesy but its true. Don't pretend to be someone to impress people it will get you nowhere. You will find your best friends just being yourself. Don't try to be better than anyone else, just be the best you can be. Don't let grades beat you up, don't let that 50% on a test effect you. Don't think you are dumb because you failed that test that everyone thought was easy. Just use that to motivate you to be better next time.

2. GPA is everything- starting from freshman year till senior year a GPA is important. This is the average of all your classes through 9th-12th grade. When your applying to college your going to wish you had an A or B instead of that C you had. So do not procrastinate, stay on top of your work (I suggest buying an agenda ) don't EVER say no to extra credit and do all your homework. Study and don't get distracted have ten to fifteen minute break if you have to.

3. Participate- Don't be afraid to ask questions or interact with teachers I promise it helps. Join clubs and meet new people. Find friends that will go with you to the football games, because your going to look back during your senior year and ask yourself why didn't you go more often. Go to all the activities like homecoming or prom even if you don't have a date, I promise its more fun to go with all your friends.

4. If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail- this means that if you don't put in the effort to do your best you will fail. So study a little longer for that test, make sure you have all your work done, be organized and put as much effort as you can in all four years. I promise it will all be worth it at the end when you end up at the school of your dreams.

Most importantly....

5. You are worth more than a number- Don't let that grade you got on that one test or the grade you have in that class determine your worth. Don't think because you got a low score on your ACT or SAT you are dumb. A number is just a number and that is all it ever be, and you know how smart you are and how much you can accomplish. So accomplish it. Retake that test, take the ACT/SAT again, don't let a number determine who you are.

Introduction

Hello, my name is Maria I'm eighteen years old and this is my story.

I grew up in different parts of the world, meeting new people, and experiencing different cultures. By the time I was ten years old, I had already relocated five times. I would move an additional two times before finally settling in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. Fortunately throughout my travels, I have been able to hold onto passions that are dear to me. Moreover, I have developed new ones with each adventure.

I was born in Lima, Peru and lived there for four years before moving to New York. After a brief stint in New York, my family moved to New Jersey and then London, England. After London we moved to Chicago, Illinois where we lived for four years - the longest amount of time I have ever lived in one location. From there we moved to Tulsa before finally settling in Texas the summer before my sophomore year. Everywhere I went I was able to meet different people and adapt to a new school and house. I was always good at making friends but saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do. In my last year in Tulsa, my freshman year, I found my passion for music and joined choir and show choir. While I had been singing since the age of six, I really became enthralled with music during this time. Music has always been a part of me and always will.

    Tulsa was by far one of my favorite places to live. People still ask me why, as they simply cannot understand its beauty. I learned that it is not where I live that makes a place but, rather, those I live among. I believe that you bloom wherever you are planted. In the next year I will be attending college, I do not know where I'm going yet. But I know that wherever I end up going to college it will be the right place for me.

I chose the name "living louder" because I have always been a quiet person, but I want that to change I want to be heard. I have gone through some struggles but believe that change and challenges is only whatever I make of it. But I always choose to make it work. So through this journey of mine living louder is my moto and hope it can be yours as well.